Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen at your job?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Why is my older sister so mean to me as if I was her enemy?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand how hurricane paths work

What are some lesser-known facts about Bollywood and the Indian film industry? Are there any insider secrets that only those in the industry would know? How reliable are these claims?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Do you think trump realizes that if he significantly decreases the size of CIA, that there is a higher chance of him being assassinated?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Why do the Republican city officials at Springfield Ohio continue to deny that immigrants are eating pets to sabotage the Trump campaign, even though immigrant pet-eating is now widely believed to be true?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Is anyone else losing complete respect for the US at this point?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

How good do you sing and how do you know this?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What is your juiciest sex story?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why do flat-earth conspiracy theorists believe that photos from space, including those of satellites, are fake?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t buy bullshit

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

How do individuals become targeted individuals? Is it solely due to experiencing stalking or harassment, or are there other factors involved?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

What are the different celebrity lists (A-list, B-list, C-list, D-list)? How does one become a part of these lists and move up or down in status?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have a reading level above third grade

What is it like to be a Christian in Iran?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What is your review of House of the Dragon, season 2, episode 8, "The Queen Who Ever Was"?

I can read

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I see through liars

I can count

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”